mainly, it's because we skim the good
to focus on the bad.
the evil stares and stunned looks,
all those times we messed up,
and acted out of hate and spite.
i acted like someone back then
that i don't even know anymore
but you act the same.
years later and i still get the same looks from you.
it hurts differently now though
you used to break my heart
but i don't let you near that now
the hurt i feel now is the pain of disbelief,
why you can't move on like i chose to do
and why lashing out seems so appropriate to you.
i don't talk about you to others -
in my journal's confines is where you're relegated -
but apparently more and more
people become privy to our inner workings.
for me, it's hard to drudge up the past,
because it's the bad seeds
that fight to be close to the top
so i tend to leave it all underground,
to keep the light out,
so my good memories can spread their roots
and provide me with more
good fruit in the future
