i don't want to write about it
because i don't want to remember it.
the red eyes and stuffy nose,
the excruciating thoughts
of ending it all
having you cry
you make me cry so much
i'm sure you never imagined it would turn out this way
that i would turn out this way
but i did and it's not your fault
i don't blame you for the things i've done
the things that have happened
but i blame you for making me feel pathetic
and worthless
because of it all
that you do have control over
that is your fault
i don't want to write about it.