talking myself out of feelings,
dreams, hopes, aspirations.
if something goes wrong
and i can't explain it,
i give it space, a meaning,
i give it a reason to happen.
i can't believe that shit just happens,
that people can fuck you over for no reason
i try to find the deeper meaning,
the reason why i opened myself up
to that failure.
in doing so, i find the good -
the relationships that never would've formed,
the times i never would've had
and i try to think that makes it okay.
but the thing about rationalizing is that
it obviously isn't okay
otherwise i would've just let it be.
